In need of spilling my guts out

Tajuk yg tak hinggat.. I need a venting system! Nak bermadah xreti.. Apa2 je la.. Mula nak merapu la ni..

I am seriously considering to privatise this blog.. I need to feel the security of taking up the ventilation thing without worrying about the consequences.. Hehehee..



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Home is where the heart is..

I want to be here




But I am here



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Of my pengawas

My dear Afnan, if one day you read these entries with you in it, just know, I love you very much..

Earlier when we were busy lepaking in front of the tv n opening our dinner from its packaging (afgan of manchester). While I fumble with the wrapping, my dear Afnan asks "mama, what is it?" and i was shocked!! She never fails to surprise me with new words/sentences. And this is complete sentence!! I turned to my dear hubby and was like, "pandai nya anak kita!!" i remembered clearly that i did not teach her that.. Where is she getting all that?? Anyways, my dear hubby replied "tapi mama.." i know, it comes with a price... Just kidding!! I am willing to pay anything anyways.. I always pray to get a child that is active n clever (not that I am going to push her or anything).
I tease her for being skema or pengawas (not that she understand). She cannot stand to see anything out of order, like seeing something on the floor, spilled, comot or anythibg of the sort. My dear hubby n I cant even play around, let alone touch the other's phone without being reminded that its not ours.. But she can control both phones!! Hahaha.. Funny n such a skema girl I would say.
Anyways, she just amazes me everytime!! For that I am thankful.. Alhamdulillah..


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Of panadol..

I heard and read other people opinion with regard to taking panadol when unwell. Hear is mine; I am taking panadol because I dont feel so good. I am going to deal with the side effect should there be any, when I have to. But for now I have to deal with the nagging flu and headache. One more thing, I am the one feeling the pain..

Ok itu je..


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Fireworks, pre-bonfire..

Last night around the time that cik abang sayang ku balik kerja around 10 pm, he called to ask me and Afnan to look out the window. He and our neighbour are going to burn some fireworks.. I picked up Afnan who is sound asleep and carried her to front window. I just would like to point out how nice and sweet tempered she is. She just opened her eyes and enjoyed the fireworks and after 3 shows, I took her back to bed and she continued her deep slumber. I mean, she's a toddler and I so not expecting that. I expected her to be cranky and all and there shew was, continued to sleep.. I must be very lucky.. Alhamdulillah..

I was the one cranky from the spilled icing sugar.. No need to mention that.. Its the reason Afnan pull out the vacuum the next morning.. huhu..

Cerita vacuum di pagi hari

This morning as I was cooking nasi goreng from last night's leftover rice. Afnan came by the kitchen and she saw how messy the kitchen was and pull out the vacuum cleaner. I love to tease her and she knows it.

Mama - Mama on la vacuum..

Afnan - Tak nak.. Eh masak la..

Hahahaa.. she's so cute, she just moves the vacuum as if.. And to her horror cik abang sayang tu turn the vacuum on, and lintang pukang dia lari!!

Papa - Eh, vacuum la...

18 month

I keep track of my time here and am now entering my 18th month.. Huhuhuu.. 18 months to go.. Sangat kecut perut.. Alhamdulillah kerja menjadi sikit hari ni.. Lega sikit, tp byk lg yg perlu dibereskan.. Sv nak aku siap 1 chapter.. Mvmana nak buat?? Aku tau apa nak buat tp xleh nak buat.. Huhu lg..



I love this girl to bits!!



Guess who took the above pics?

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Kesal

So many things to say, but so many constraints.. I have a lot of ideas that needs tk be transalated in writing, and yet the only time suitable for me to actually think about blogging is when i am laying on my bed, wide awake. Sensing unsensible excuse here..

Walking down the stairs of Engineering Building from level 3, I met the boss' PA. And we walked out through the side door. Upon crossing the deserted carpark, I decided to walk on the roadside instead of the usual path under the henry price residence. Suddely I felt water pouring down on me and my first thought it must be raining after a gloomy day; the forecast said it was going to rain today. It stopped and I looked up to see a couple of guys pulling away a bucket from the window on the third or fourth floor. I was beyond shocked that no sojnd could come out!! I would have really liked to let out swear words.. Tak guna punya anak mat salleh tak sedar diri!! Bertambah menyampah aku dgn mat salleh2 sini. Keji dan sangat bengong. Takda keje. Pity the parents dpt anak nakal. Pity the society ada bp kerat org tak cukup akal ni memalit najis pada nama yg konon gah. These are their future generation yg akan produce their futute generation yg akan lingkup. Parents hantar belajar main2 sgt.

Aduss aku betul2 kesal dgn that incident. If it ever happen again I will get my camera out and have physical proof to lodge a complaint to security..

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Doa makan

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Of bits and pieces..

Afnan is absorbing info like a sponge now. I mean who wouldn't? She's 2 years and 8 months now!! Big girl that can acts like a baby! Haha.. She requests to sit on a baby chair; "mama, nak babychair" lawak la sometimes.. I mean if u can ask for a baby chair doesnt that mean u no longer needs it?
Before we went back for the extended holiday i taught her our name. Yes she can say her name perfectly.. She responds dgn grammar yg btl jgk..
If seone were to ask "What is your name?", she would say "My name is Afnan". How cute is that? Well that's taught.. One nite masa lepak2 with her opah and after she was asked her name a couple of times, i asked her, "What is your mama's name?" ang she said "my mama's name is waida".. Hehehe.. I was so proud of her. That answer was not taught ok!! Oh yes, i did also asked "what is your papa's name?" she said "papa's name os Sanny".. Not bad for a 2-year old baby of mine tu..
Oh I still remember the first time i heard her cries in the operating theater.. Sigh...



This is pak chu's t-shirt ye..

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Of Artic blast..

Apparently there's some Artic blast up there in the North pole and i am feeling the heat.. More of the coldness. Its supposed to be just autumn! And yet the Met office said its going to snow in the Scots highland.
I woke up with a stuffed nose, sore throat and suppressed cough. My oh my.. I drank a cup of blackcurrant and its the first and last time. I will stick to tablets .. It was horrible!! Pahit with capital P!! Hope to get well soon..














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17th month

Yup, I am in my 17th month now.. How time flies by.. Need to get the paper for Escape-21 done by nest week though the due date is next month. Need to get it out of the way. Nervousnya.. Its going to be my first oral presentation!!!!! Byk benda yg membuatkan aku takut sebenarnya; org tanya mcm2 (mcm sv ku ms meeting) dan xleh jwb, kalau boleh jwb, jawapan tah pape dan malukan diri sendiri, sv, uni, ump, malaysia.. Hadoii.. Lagi satu yg aku takut nanti org tgk aku present; "haaa yg ni je???" "dah belambak org buat ni, apa yg br nya??" apa aku nak jawab nanti????

Takut!!!

Tapi kena siapkan paper tu dulu br sambung takut ye...

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Kembali bersiaran..

Salam.. Saya dah kembali bersiaran ni setelah bercuti sekian lama.. Ada byk yg perlu di catch-up kan, tp otakku masih lemau, tidak seperti biskut nestum yg sgt crunchy itu.. Sebulan pulang ke tanah air tercinta, bertemu keluarga tercinta, byk kenangan yg tersimpan.. Kelakar dan sedih pun ada. I had expected a drama air mata kt airport yg lebih menyayat hati berbanding masa 1st dulu, tp alhamdulillah Allah kuatkan semangat dan tahan airmata ku ini. Kalau tak aku tau mak n ayah mesti nangis jgk. Mak mentua mmg dah mengalir air matanya, ayah asyik tgk kasut je, dan mak aku xberani tgk..
Anyways, malaslah nak ingat yg emo2 ni kan..
Anyways, the highlight of our raya is summarised as follows;
1. Satu hari tu ada budak sg ramal tekan loceng kt rumah n cik abg bukak pintu (ktorg semua ada kt ruang tamu) dan dgr la suara bdk2 tu.. "eh ni rumah farid kamil ke??!" tersipu2 cik abg ku itu..
2. On a less brighter note, my mum was admitted to the hospital when she experienced vertigo.. The least I could do was to accompany her in the hospital. Takut sgt.. Hanya Allah yg tahu. In addition, her blood pressure rocketed to 168 give or take, and turned out my dad's BP was and still is around 150. Cumanya aku bersyukur all this happen when we were in malaysia. If we were here in the uk, my parents probably would not have said anything other than 'pening sikit' or 'BP tinggi sikit'.. Just as they said 'skrg musim buah "tu" ' referring to durian, my all time favourite.. Aiyoo sempat lg tu..

Anyways, autumn is in the air.. Might be my favourite season. The view around is breathtaking!! Pokok2 kuning dan merah.. Here's the tree in front of our doorstep.




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Of 1st lasagna yg jadi..

Made this lasagna the other day.. The red sauce I made from scratch.. White sauce cap Asda.. Boleh la.. 2 lapis dah cukup. Next day I made 3 lapis, over sgt! Cheese melekat kt foil yg cover masa bakar..


Nasib baik smpt snap sblm hbs..

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Of my kueh so far..

Here are some snaps of all the kueh mueh I made so far..


The red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting..



Tepung bungkus limited edition.. The 2nd attempt, and made only 2...



Keropok lekor leeds.. Xsempat buat sos dia..



Burger malaysia.. Rupa tiada, manis ada..



Yang ni lebih manis sbb ada model..,



The n-th attempt for buah melaka, the most successful one. The size is consistent with plenty of gula melaka filling.. Terbaek..

And yesterday I made bingka carrot.. Lupa nak snap plak but basically turned out allright.. Its, orange... ;p

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Of Iftar so far

Salam 5 Ramadhan.. I am having no trouble with the 16-17 hours of fasting so far, Alhamdulliah.. Its probably with niat utk berpuasa, Allah's willing that i had not experience gastric etc. Prior to Ramadhan month I had a couple of ngeri experience with gastric and migraine that results from my attempt to reduce food intake.. Diet la konon, but after the scary experience in the form of a week of continuos flatulence I decided its not worth it.. Heheehe..
Anyways, I dont really have much interesting thing thats worth mentioning except our menu so far;
1) nasi ayam - made it myself
2) nasi ayam - neighbour house
3) gulai kawah - so cair that someone think its soup.. Heheehe
4) macam2- kari, gulai ikan, paprik ayam.. Open house jiran2 kt bawah..
5) thats today, i still havent decided but most probably the ribs that i marinated a couple of days ago..
And bersempena bulan puasa ni, maka tekak pun teringin la nak mkn maca2.. So for day one i made red velvet cup cake. Tak jadi sangat n i dont particularly like the fact that i had to use the whole bottle of red coloring just to make the paste out of 2 tablespoon of chocolate powder.. And its not as moist as some claimed it to be.. For day 2 i made brownies cheesecake. It was ok initially but densed after i refrigerate it!! But cik abg kata ok je.. Tah la.. I decided not to make any dessert on day 3, but I surfed for recipe for tepung bungkus.. I craved the runny white santan and chewy inti kelapa.. So early day 4 yesterday i started preparing the inti kelapa which is just kelapa parut n gula melaka n pandan.. Then the tepung beras n santan.. Oh yes, I did not have the daun pisang for wrapping the kuih so I used aluminium foil instead. To cut the story short, I found after twice steaming the batch, the all important santan part was.. hard n not gooey as it should. And upon breaking fast , I tested it and it tasted like..... Putu bambu with inti kelapa.. Huhh malu nya, dah la bawak rumah org.. Nak buat mcmana.. At first I thought it was the resipi, but then a friend said it was probably the indian rice flour that i used thats causing it to taste like putu bambu and that I should try to use thai's rice flour first before deciding if the recipe was a hoax.. I mean, I did search other recipes and basicly all are using 1 cup of rice flour with 2 cups of santan.. So I could not have done anything wrong except maybe the daun pisang..
Anyways, enough of the putu bambu/tepung bungkus. I also made cheese caramel puding in 2 version; big-bakar, small-kukus. The small version confirmed jadi. The big one tak sure because I never got around to taste it.. It will be for today's iftar..
Ok, enough already about food and such.. Salam Ramadhan...

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Of whatever

Ofis sangat sunyi minggu ni. Both offices lengang sbb ramai yg g conference kt Beijing. Almost half! Bila that group blk the second half akan ke Hawaii pulak! Fuyoo kan diorg2 ni.. bila la aku pulak.. Hahaaha.. Membakar semangat ni. Tp betul jgk kata member sorg ni, kalau g conference kt terikat dengan deadline whereas kalau jurnal kt boleh submit when we are ready..
Lagi satu yg membakar semangat ialah member yg berjaya viva in less than 3 thn!! Superb dan power ranger! Nak jugak!! Huhuuhu..
Jumaat lepas ada talk, sorg ni nak bersara dan dia kongsi pengalaman dia dr zaman dia dgn national coal board sampai leeds uni. Anyways nak cerita time lunch yg dia sponsor tu heheehe.. Met this pakistani lecturer doing his attachment here. So dia tanya la pasal my project, so cerita la pasal process modelling CTL, gasification, FTS etc. Pastu dia cakap dia buat something on it masa kt pakistan etc. The point being is that he highlighted experimentalist vs modeller (adakah..) exp. mcm dia buat exp ke, theory kurang compared to modeller yg supposedly have sound fundamental. Tah la.. Bila start belajar ni aku rasa aku xtau apa2 pun, started from scratch (xkt from zero sbb ilmu utk search kt google n sciencedirect ms awal tu ada..) scratch as in garu kepala.. Heehehe.. Sampai skrg aku punya tendency ialah I cant move forward unless I understand it. So kalau xfaham kerja xgerak.. Sangat teruk! Alhamdulillah slowly I tried to bypass the urge to know 'everything' and settled with 'something' and am making good progress. The results are promising, alhamdulillah.. Kena ngadap sifu esok petang mcm bese.. Nak present mcmana pulak ye.....

Masterpiece

Me - Shock & speechless..
Afnan - Smiling proudly looking at her masterpiece!






Close-up...




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Tiba-tiba aku terasa bahang keperitan belajar. Dari semalam lagi, aku cuba nak sampaikan apa point yg aku nak sampaikan tp tak kesampaian. Sabar lagi, hari ni cuba lagi, tapi gagal jugak. Sanggup lencong sana lencong sini, cakap benda2 yg takda kaitan ngan aku, tapi bila aku nak cakap je, lencong lagi, aku pun sabar lagi. Tapi bila at last dia cakap tak payah tunjuk la ni, rasa nak luruh jantung aku.. Dari semalam aku nak cakap tapi tak dapat2. So sebenarnya dia memang tak mau dengar la ye. Aku cuba kuatkan semangat, aku tak mahu air mata jatuh pasal, nak save la nanti2 la, not now... (tunggu viva or masa graduation nanti la).. Aku perlu kuatkan semangat. Hati kena kuat.. Ya Allah, kuatkanlah semangat hamba mu ini…

Jadi, apa perlu aku buat? Nak ikut cakap ke? Aku nak cuba tgk ni dari sudut yang positive.. Aku perlu.. Mesti.. Ok la, dia mungkin rasa its am of guidance, and its probably is. Betul2.. Hands on punya orang kan..

Ok la, I refuse to be negative today. Jadi sejurus aku tekan publish, aku akan bangun dari kerusi, dan pergi buat secawan coffee.. dan buat apa yg dia suruh buat. Harap2 semua berjalan lancer, dan petang ni boleh dapat input yang positif..

Ya Allah, hanya pada Mu tempat aku memohon bantuan dan perlindungan..

Jssnns

Of surprise..

I could not resist to comments on today matches..
Firstly on Brasil vs. Holland. I assumed that everyone thought that Brasil would breeze through the match, especially with the opening (though offside) goal from Brasil. The official goal came within minutes. But from then on everything went downhill for them. No technical skills shown, not a trace of the infamous Samba move at any point. What was there was in fact exasperated players who did not communicate with each other, tackling their opponents carelessly which by the end a player was handed a red card. I have a theory; as they came in as favourite team, not only as the match winner but the world cup winner, they were stunt by the Dutch equilising goal. They probably thought that no one should have been able to, so shocked that they never recover! I personally did not think the Dutch played any better, probably thought they would be lucky not to be humiliated by something like 4-1 like you-know-who.. So after their 1st goal, everyone was esthetic and their spirit soared which enable them to score the winning goal.. Another thing is that Afnan keeps saying 'Kaka habis.. Kaka habis..' heehee. And I found out that kaka is poopy in German.. So the whole time, Afnan was not saying such nice things.. heehehe.. Anyways thats that.
Regarding the Ghana vs Uruguay which U won from penalty shoot out, lets just say Ghana could have won on numerous times, but I guess they just dont the luck! the dramatic red card on the last minute of the extra time, the missed penalty and lastly the dramatic shoot out.. Uruguay keeper is really good in predicting the shooter movement prior to the kick, hence 2 brilliant saves.. Coincidently I thought his face looks like Aliff Aziz.. Or is it just me?


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14 months..

Yesterday, 1st July 2010 marked the 14th months of my study and our stay here in the UK. Lama dah.. Tak sabar nak balik..
Anyways semalam meeting ngan sv sangat stressful. Stress sampai klua meeting je trus ajak hubby mkn kt luar.. We tried the red sea restaurant kt harehills. The meals not bad, but of course xboleh lawan jazera.. But its red sea special smoothie is yummy; a mix of avocado, mango and strawberry.. Did not think avocado sedap sangat but i thought its really good.. Making a mental note to find avocado and try it at home..
Enough of the food, the price is alright i guess. But hubby had red sea shewarma, but i thought if he wants that meal, get it from Shawarma..


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Of loneliness..

Lonely la sangat.. This is the second day break from world cup.. Sunyi sangat.. Selalu kt office tu baca diorg punya live update kt website fifa. Yg update every minute tu. Did not think it was appropriate to watch the 3 pm telecast.. Heheehe.. Then i would go home to prepare for the 7.30 match.. But these 2 days has been less than exciting, making me thinking about shopping je.. Anyways, i have got my shopping list ready with the ciput budget huahua.. Gap jeans are on sale at £7.99, there is a store selling office wear that's selling coat and matching pant suit at £10 a piece. Now that is bargain! I am going to need it for my conference (tp paper mcm kn reject dek sv ku saja.. Huhuuhu).. Erm apa lg.. Oh ye dadhibais ngan day to day kena seround lg b4 the VAT increase.. Now where am I to scrape enough money to get by???


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Of football and such..

Just finished watching Spain vs. Portugal match. After witnessing the adrenaline pumping Germany vs. England game last week, this match was only 15% as interesting. How can I, the kaki-bangku-never-played-any-sportwoman, said that? Well, beside being the self-professed kaki bangku, I did took note on how the game are played. The attack formation is of particular interest. Really! From tv we get amazing views from amazing angles. For example, the German (except for their 2nd group game) always have at least 3 if not 4 forwards/strikers waiting in parallel when they were bringing the ball down.
Another interesting that I have observed that most teams have wing players; to play on the right side of the field or the left side. Thats very typical, and how do you know who would stay on which side? Interestingly enough, its based on which foot the player use to score a goal! I just realised that!! Hahahaa... Kaki bangku betul..
Anyways, like I said, that's mediocore. The Germans last Sunday did not even attempt tu push wingers, instead they cut through the middle of the field, allowing goal scorers a clear shot on the goal!! Such a beauty!!
It was entertaining and spectacular even if I am watching it from home..
There you go, that's my favorite team this World Cup.. I remembered that prior to the first group game the silly itv commentator went as far as saying how would the German survive without the likes of Ballack; labelling them as underdogs, being so young and all. Yup, except for a couple senior players like Klose and Podolski, Germany team consist of under 21 squad, but that squad won anyhow.
Cant wait for this weekend match Germany vs. Argentina!! Whats all the big fuss about Messi y'all. Tanya skit bp byk dah gol? heheehe.. Look out for Mesut Ozil y'all!!!
Enough about football oredi..
Daa..

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Sale @ http://ruwaidarasid.blogspot.com

We have finally set up (and have the courage) for our sale blog..

http://ruwaidarasid.blogspot.com

hehehehehhe.....

malu, malu..

Tapi bila pikir bukan orang nampak kita or kena pergi rumah ke rumah.. ;p

Do drop by y'all..

Of what I have been up to..

Not much actually. Earlier this week on monday, i had intense urge to watch the world cup but thankfully that urge passes as i buried myself in work. A friend said that usually after passing their transfer, people usually go off on a holiday of some sort, but yours truly here is the exact opposite. ;p
The reason being is that after being soooo worried about transferring I think that I have finally, for the first time this past year, feel confident a bit about my work and what I am doing. That's at a risk of sounding sooo poyo, but its true. I was in cloud nine; could not see my future - masa depan terasa sangat gelap; could not see the light at the end of the tunnel, but all that burden of weight felt like its been lifted off of my shoulders. It felt like I have achieved something.
Anyways, last week I was sorting out the various forms that needed sorting; second 6 month report for UMP, KPT, transfer report for graduate office - all of which still need sorting.. Have to get it done tomorrow..
This week I did some simulations - for a case study and another of the effect of process conditions. The results have been plotted, but am stuck at intrepeting it all. Its useless unless you know what it is, right? Lets hope I could get it done by tomorrow before the weekly meeting..
I heard horrific stories from other PhD students whom supervisors; maki2, marah2, tengking2, sindir2, tukar2 tajuk/skop, to name a few. So far i have only been sindir-ed a couple of times that I can recalled of, and I was able to brush off. I do know that that's obstacle/test from Allah to those He knows who can handle it. As He knows that I would not be able to survive if I had mean svs. Yup, I probably would not have think twice to run back home; yes, pathetic I know.
Anyways, the PhD momentum is at full swing and hope it can be sustained!!

Of My First Year Transfer

First of all YAYY!! For the proper title to my post today.. I don't usually have one simply because I usually started writing and forgot all about and only realize it when I have published the post. Anyways, I am not such a 'bunga-bunga' writer and I feel weird/awkward saying flowery things. So, here goes.. Erm, I don't think so..

Well, what I want to say is bertapa bersyukurnya saya, Alhamdulillah sangat2 sebab dah lepas first year transfer. Ada pelbagai istilanya di sini; upgrade, transfer, first year assessment and it all meant the same thing. Ada sesetengah university di sini require phd students to register as an MPhil (Master of Philosophy) student, whereby at the end of first year tu dia ada assessment before reregistering themselves as 2^nd year PhD (if I'm not mistaken Uni of Bath buat macam tu). Other uni like Leeds, call it Provisional PhD. Sama je, sebab in Leeds kalau tak lepas 1^st year akan dapat Mphil jugak (among other things which include nothing ;p mintak simpang ye..)

Anyways, in Leeds, the most familiar term is 'Transfer' which refers to first year transfer which upon passing you will be a second year PhD student; like yours truly ni dah masuk 2^nd year.. (lompat..lompat..).

Seriously, I sometimes feel like I don't deserve it all.. It's too much and overwhelming.. What have I done to be in such mercy?? But I looked back and keep telling myself that what I need to do is to improve myself, that's all that I can do..

I passed my transfer with ease I would say. And not without doa from my dear hubby, my parents, and friends.. Thank you all, and most importantly thank you Allah for letting me pass this 1^st hurdle (as in years), 2 more hurdles to get through.. The examiner main question was all inter-related in a sense that he wanted to know as to why I am doing what I am doing now, and how it would fit or contribute to my country. After that its mostly his suggesting for improvements and plus he gave me a further 3 papers to read that he thought were related to my field. I cringed a bit, realizing that my literature review were not extensive enough.. But the main thing is that I passed..

Well, that's it for now.. Meeting with sv again this afternoon.. Wish me luck.. ;p

MamaAfnan

Mood berangan ku tak habis.. But at least it took my mind off worries of the tranfer viva that will be in.. Kira jap.. a week from tomorrow.. 8 days la.. Subhanallah takutnya aku.. Ya Allah berilah kekuatan kepada ku..



Princess ni pakai bedak sendiri ye..

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This is what I do when I am wide awake...

.. I came up with things to do.. Like blogging for example.. Its a no no for sure, will be very sleepy that no amount of coffee will be able to wake me.. Huhuu..
I was thinking about something the other day and it got me really occupied, but another thing sortnof calmed my excitement. A further third thoughts followed me at home, making me feel irrational and guilty having the thoughts and plans.. Might have to abondoned everything all together in hope to get my thoughts on track again..
Great BIG sigh....
Ya ALLAH permudahkanlah urusan hamba ini..

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Location:In bed

Sunday morning yg sunny, indah dan bakal panas.. Miss the cold weather.. Ye la, bila sejuk boleh pakai baju berlapis2, tapi kalau panas mana boleh tanggal ye tak?
InsyaAllah akan ke carboot Wetherby pagi ni.. Janji pergi kejap je sbb my dear hubby nak exam next week.. Ok le jgk sbb kalau tak lg la tak kemana la..
Erm, transfer report tak sentuh lg dr jumaat.. Need to get it done by monday n submit to the examiner.. Dengar kt org prof tu baik tp suka tanya soalan luar bidang kita.. Takutnya..
Ya Allah kuatkanlah semangat hamba mu ini..
Anyways, when looking at my baby, all my worries would fade away...


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Am reading about Lagenda Mahsuri in Cari forum.. baru bp page.. bila tah nak habis.. ada kaitan dgn benda2 mistik ni.. Seram pun ada, but most importantly ianya membuatkan saya teruja utk buat my own family tree.. But dah xda org tua nak dirujuk since both grandparents belah mak dah takda. belah ayah tinggal opah je.. Sedihnya.. macamana ye??... Maybe i will never know..


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Sakit urat

Hari ni school sampai tghari je, sbb sv pun takda.. Meeting hari ni dah dibuat awal hr selasa hr tu so lega jgk la.. Anyways the reason blk awal is that my bahu sakit.. Oohh tidak!!! sakitnya dah berhari2 jgk la.. Stiff neck n shoulder.. Ke ini angkara che puteh chomel.. Ohh harapnya bukan la.. I thought that its because of my posture during reading.. Huhuhuu.. Hope it would go away.. Lambat lg nak blk msia utk g spa segala tu.. Nak kata kurang mkn, jauh la..
Oohh sakitnya urat kuu......

Oh ye, smlm bday ku.. Sweet my dear hubby bought me rose bouquet.. The princess suka jgk siap belek2 segala..






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Craving..

Hari ni teringin makan kuih qasidah. Berbekalkan resipi yg diambil online, bermulalah episod cuba jaya ni. Facts;
1. Kuih qasidah/ kasidah asalnya dr utara rupa2nya
2. Bahan2nya senang sangat but tends to get clumpy
3. Saya suka kuih ini.. My dear hubby pun suka, cuma the little princess gag dan sampai nak termuntah bila rasa kuih ni :(

Bahan
1. 1 cawan tepung gandum
2. 3 cawan air
3. 7 sudu gula
4. 1/4 sudu air kapur. Orang merantau ni xda bekalan air kapur so xletak pun.
5. 5 biji bawang merah ros dan 5 sudu minyak masak untuk goreng bawang.

Cara-caranya masuk no.1-4 dalam periuk dan kacau sampai pekat dan berkilat. Mungkin tepung gandum mat saleh xmacam tepung malaysia, sbb xberkilat pun.. Tah le..

Anyways, masukkan dlm bekas of loyang. Ai msk dlm tupperware je, senang nak simpan peti ais.. Biar sejuk sementara goreng bawang sampai perang. Oh ye, bawang ros xda, yg ada bawang besar so guna itu je la..

And the end product is..





Sendiri buat sendiri makan.. Hehehee..

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Santai Sabtu

Dear sayang mama.. Dari semalam lagi mama terfikir nak makan mee goreng. Tambahan pulak masa kita pergi Asda semalam jumpa egg noodle, 3 for £2.50. Sebelum ni jumpa yg brand sharwood tp lama dah tak jumpa. Murah pasal brand Asda kot. Boleh la. So pagi2 tadi, mama tau sayang tak perasan sebab sayang lena sungguh, mama bangun awal siapkan barang2. Tambahan pula papa dah janji nak bawak kita jalan2 ke Castleford. Anyways, resipi asalnya ialah mee goreng mamak, tapi disebabkan tak cukup bhn spt udang, serbuk kacang, sawi.. Banyak la pulak, tp kesimpulannya mmg serba serbi kekurangan, jadi mee goreng mamak jadi mee goreng mama sahaja ye..



Bahan
1. Bawang besar n putih
2. Serbuk cili



3. Ayam
4. Telur
5. Sos tomato
6. Kicap
7. Mee
8. Kiub ayam knorr



Tumis bawang, cabai sampai naik minyak. Masukkan ayam n kiub pati ayam. Masukkan mee dan bahan2 lain.. Kacau2 and walla....



Sorry la presentation tak cantik.. Tak letak bawang goreng segala..
Anyways, just want to remind you that you loved my mee.. How do I know this? You finiah your portion during breakfast AND ate it for lunch.. Sedap la tu kan... Hehehe..



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Its early friday morning and i'm wide awake.. There's a slight improvement in the flu i'm experiencing, alhamdulillah. Entah la, lately i am experiencing an average of 1 sickness per month. Masa awal2 sampai dulu ok je pulak. Takkan la tiba2 that i am affected by the weather. Its just so uncomfortable but then again it could have been worse. I thought of a nasty joke/quiz that is so gross no one want to know.. Nah, i would not want to remember it myself..
Alhamdulillah Afnan has been in the best of health. I was so afraid that she would catch my flu. At 2 years and 2 months plus she has really shown some personality traits. My dear hubby has described one to be a perfectionist. This is shown many times; she went into the kitchen to get a plate or something and was talking loudly in her language (i heard this from a far) and she suddenly goes silent and i went to check up on her and guess what? She was flippling the kitchen carpet upright that was messed up a bit, then proceeded to the cupboard to retrieve the plate. She's also could not see the microwave door open not even for a couple seconds while i'm getting something hot out with both hands. She would remind me persistently "Tutup!! Tutup!!" another thing is that shevwould insist that nothing is on her way wherever she is. For example if more than 1 pillow on the sofa, she would clear them out before lying down and enjoying her milk.. Cute, funny and annoying pun ada, but i do love her to bits..
There was this one time she was bugging me to get a book from the rack.. "nak book!" dia kata. I asked which one because most are already on the coffee table. I took out one by one but she kept saying no.. I was getting exasperated when all of the sudden she sang out "Bob na na na" to the tune of "Bob the builder".... Hahahaha she wanted her Bob the builder book.. That book was in fact out on the coffee table and she was delighted to finally found it. I guess she herself was getting exasperated trying to communicate with me. Apa la mama tak paham orang cakap ni.. Sorry ye sayang, i will try my best in the future..

....

I am left with inability to sleep when my dear hubby left for work in a hurry. Apparently he overslept.. Kesian sangat.. Ya Allah, permudahkanlah urusan kami sekeluarga diperantauan..

the day after...

Baru je menelan pelbagai jenis ubat, dari piriteze untuk selsema ke paracetamol untuk demam dan tahan sakit, serta chewable vitamin C dengan harapan the flu would go away... Just hope I will not be overdosed..

I have a feeling it would be quite bad.. mungkin sebab weather, tah le.. hope it would go away soon enough.. I dont like being sick.. erm ke sebab 'menunggu' something today? entah2 if that thing came, I would feel much better.. erm gedik sungguh la plak.. ;p we'll see..

Picnic

Salam Monday blues..

Takda la, sejak 1-2 minggu kebelakangan nie, istilah blues2 takda pula. Mungkin sebab paksa diri untuk terus mulakan kerja full force. Biase engine tak berapa nak panas hari isnin, so slow la skit.. anyways, harap2 dah berubah la skit2 ye.. erm, semalam kitorang g picnic kt bolton abbey. seronok jgk la sbb weather ok jgk. takda la sesejuk seperti first time g.. mmg tak dapat dilupakan masa family day last year, mmg mcm nak nangis sbb anginnya, masyaAllah.. dengan kelengkapan baju tebal pun kurang.. terpaksa balik awal.. itu tahun lepas, tp thn nie weather nya intermittent, baju pun takda la tebal sangat sbb kejap2 panas, kejap2 sejuk.. cuma, regretfully sampai2 terus makan.. i think it would have been better if we walked around cause when we left, i realized the actual abbey was really beautiful! and that's just view from the roadside amide wall cracks and walkways. its definitely a place that i would like to come again just for a walk..
And, too bad we did not take much piccas.. Just a couple for rememberance..

Housekeeping again..

Hari nie kurang mood (read: takda mood la tu..) untuk buat kerja2 memikir dan membaca. Jadi untuk memanafaatkan masa, buat la housekeeping lagi. Kali ni, segala journal2 yang bercampur aduk sebab ikut kategori topic masing2. Maklum la, masa tulis report, time tu la baru nak refer. What I should have done ialah bila baca tu terus buat note la kan.. so back to square one. Jadi kena la susun balik, kalau tak jenus nak belek satu2 kan.. So I took a couple hours susun sana susun sini n my journals are now in alphabetical order, kecuali 1 pile yg grouped together sbb that is what I am going to do next.. k la, kena sambung buat keje, yerp keje ye.. erm mcm nak gastric plak tak cukup mkn.. hehehhe camna nak diet nie.. huhu..

Its all about that transfer thing..

I am totally exhausted after a couple of non-stop working weeks. Felt like a zombie. Tidur tak makan, mandi tak kenyang, makan tak lena.. Crossing the i's and dotting the t's. But after today's presentation, I am in a high spirit, despite the lesuness. I am hoping that I could achieve something..

On a positive note, the draft report has been submitted.. Lega sangat2.. Now I am looking forward to the weekend.. Katanya university nak buat bbq? jadi ke? Sugar (hubby la sape lagi kan..) kata sonyap je semua. But then again its weekdays so everyone is busy with school and those who has jobs got work to do. We'll see tomorrow. Friends from school nak plan buat bbq jgk. Tak dapek la, takut jgk kalau ada yg bwk pet anjing. I am terrified of them dogs I could faint.. Eh, kalau je ye. Kalau tak bgs la kan..

The power of negotiation

Tiba-tiba teringatkan anak kt rumah.. Nur Afnan Durrani, I miss u sangat2.. Sorry mama terpaksa habaiskan banyak masa kt school.. kt rumah mama tak leh nak buat keje.. huhu..

Teringatkan beberapa hari lepas, when I needed to get her to do something.. tak ingat la, tukar pampers ke apa, but she absolutely refused too!! I think she was watching timmy time or something like that..

Ala2 gaduh guling2 dah nie, and I was trying hard to think how to handle the situation. Erm, supernanny jo frost kt we need to get to the child eye level and say firmly, whatever the instruction is. Then, if it doesn't work, notti corner etc etc.. I tried doing the eye level thing but it did not work. Then I tried to negotiate, giving her more time to enjoy her fav show, THEN tuka pampers.. surprisingly it works!! It actually works.. even at 2 years 1 month that little baby of mine could actually NEGOTIATE.. amazing, subhanallah..

Lately she has not been punished by sitting by the notti wall or anything anymore. Not that she's too well behaved, but I am starting to understand her more. She understand little rules like no chocolate (she says LOLATT) in the house, but is absolutely delighted when we get in the car to go somewhere, she knows that she's allowed some (but of course she's reminded constantly she's only allowed to have a certain amount).

I don't know if I have ever mentioned this but Afnan could count 1-10 since early this year. She loves singing happy bday song.. happy bday to you..happy bday to you.. happy bday sayang mama.. happy bday to you.. though the sayang mama sounds more like 'yayang mama'..boleh la tu..and blow pretend candles.. so cute..

Erm apa la lagi ye.. she has made a lot of progress now I could not keep up.. she used to detest having to sit in her stroller but lately (in 2 significant occasions – keukenhoff n seaham carboot) she's a willing participant.. I love u to bits sayang..

Khamis, 25th March 2010

Alhamdulillah, ya Allah.. Hari ni selesai sudah mesyuarat. Aku bg outline transfer report dan diorg soh buat minor adjustment je, combine chapter 3 ngan chapter 2, tambah satu chapter. Alhamdulillah, layout ok je. Masa lps present package baru tu, rasa lega sangat2. Rasa guilty pun ada jugak. I have looking at complex mathematical model yg bila simulate tak jalan, nie bila run menjadi saja. Its techno-economic model senang, really2222 makes me feel guilty (bukan pandang rendah model2 yg bukan engineering, tak bermaksud lgsg ye). But I think that its good for my spirit, n sv pun agreed that it will be a chapter for my thesis (thesis ok, bukan transfer report..) so kena buat betul2 so that thesis betul nanti kita kopipes je.. haa guilty lagi.. tp perlu cari sumber sohih sbb kena tgk process configuration dia dulu.. Alhamdulillah sekali lagi. Its almost 6 pm, perlu kembali ke pangkuan keluarga (Woodsley je dulu).. speaking of which, tak bgtau sv lg nak cuti lama.. takpe la, next week la.. oh ya, wpun my transfer is not till end of may, aku sudah tau sape examiner.. ooh no.. hope that it will be all right.. Ameen..

venting..

Bersesuaian dengan tema blog saya, 'Say Whatever', its taking a literal meaning, such that I can say what ever I want. So tema kali nie ialah ventin (erk, mmg bukan biasanya aku venting2 ker.. ;p). Anyways, that rather crisp into a side, terdetik hati nak menjengah ke blog peribadi seorang personaliti muslimah nie yang femes la kt msia tu, dan dia punya venting entry (mcm tunggang langang pulak ayat; what ever la) ada kena mengena dengan aurat. baca punya baca, i totally disagree with her and after a quite scan through the comments section in the bottom, my heart sinks. kecewa sebab bila seseorang personaliti memberi komen mengikut hati, orang yang kurang berpengetahuan mungkin boleh terdorong untuk terikut2, biarpun benda itu salah. She commented on aurat and even went on saying she knew the aurat for women, all but her face and tapak tangan. so selain tu adalah aurat. i have to admit, i was jahil on this, but i think that i have improved a bit. in my opinion, women should dress as though they are ready to perform solat, senang je.. tutup semua siap2 kecuali muka dan tapak tangan, tak gitu ke? aduss, cik abang mesti tak suka kalau dia tau wifey dia berblog hal2 sensitip nie.. anyways, its just my 2 cents, probably not worth anything at all.. ;p

Monday

I am not feeling well today, bangun pagi tekak rasa perit je.. Oh no, harap tak kena virus lagi. Sungguh tak larat rasanya. I need energy untuk teruskan kerja2 ku. I know for certain its not Monday blues.. Ya Allah, berilah aku kekuatan dan kesihatan.. Amin..

Today..

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

Alhamdulillah dah hari jumaat dah ni, pejam celik, pejam celik. sekejap sangat masa berlalu. for the first time, for the last couple of weeks i felt that i am on the roll, terasa diri ini bekerja dengan kuat sekali, selain mendapat idea dan ilham yang mencurah2. alhamdulillah sangat2. pulun study berhari2 cari macamana nak dapat kan gibbs energy of formation dependence on temperature, serba tak kena. Antoine (sebutan nya baru ku tahu: 'An-tuan' ye kawan2, bukan 'An-toyn' seperti sekian lama ku sebut) correlation ku cuba, NASA polynomial ku try, virial EOS ku test, semua tak kena, tak menjadi. Dari isnin lagi. Last2 pagi tadi jumpa paper yang refer to satu buku publish the year after i was born, 'Synthetic fuel' . Memandangkan aku buntu, aku jejaki jugak la buku itu, nasib baik ada dilibrary. Menarik kat sini, segala buku dr zaman tok kadok ada, dan gaya penulisan buku lama2 ni macam bercerita. Kalau spend masa untuk baca betul2 mmg akan mudah faham apa yang diorang nak sampaikan. selama hari ini aku suka sangat base on the cover, kiranya i judge the books by its covers la. kalau buku lama2 dan buruk2 skit mmg boleh kata takkan baca punya la. suka cover yang cantik2 je. (rasa byk je buku2 lama kt perpustakaan tun sri lanang yang tak dihargai..). the point being is that, zaman sekarang orang dok war2kan penemuan2 baru tapi betul ke? teringat kt sv ku sorang nie, ada koleksi buku dr zaman dia undergrad dan phd (btw dia dapat phd thn 1964.. ;p) ada je buku dia soh baca, thesis lama dia soh refer. haa there's even a concept of heat transfer dia kata dia rasa silap quote, sbb ada org german yang dah publish dulu sebelum the person yang dia quote tu.. (Schumanm simple model - heat transfer between solid and gas).

Where was I?? Ok so dapat la buku Synthetic fuel tu, tgk2 dia quote orang lain jgk, tp nasib baik correlation dia simple and direct. rupa2nya NASA etc kalau nak dapatkan enthalpy terus boleh la, tp heran, patut boleh je nak dapatkan enthalpy of formation drp tu. since i thought that i had enough 'drama' (chewah2 study pun drama jugak..) i proceeded, nanti la i know eventually kena figure out jgk NASA nie (its most reliable according to my sources), sbb yang buku tu limited je (ni kes tak tgk original source la nie.. aiyoo) tak kira2.

So i tried out in excel.. jadi2, dapat value as per references (yang tak bagi correlation) nak melompat dah nie (tak da la, just literally) then adjusted my program sekali tak jadi. i think this was about 2pm. godek2, adjust sana sini, jenuh dok pikir, rasa i duplicate sama mcm yang kt excel, kira manual using my calculator pun dapat je. aiyoo berdrama la lagi.. tp tiba2 tergerak hati tgk balik model saja tukar 'log10' ke 'log' je and run.. JADI!! ye ye ye.. Alhamdulillah2.. itu je ke?? godek kt 2 jam 30 min.. silly me. anyways, nasib baik dapat ilham tu, kuasa Allah jugak, sebab kalau tak sampai sudah tak boleh detect (ye la sebab dah sampai tahap taip balik satu2 program tu, punya la last resort habis)..

Kesimpulannya, model jadi, sekarang tinggal nak generate data and plot graph je la.. Plot graph pun boleh jd drama jugak. Godek2 Origin & Tecplot sorang2 tak mendatangkan hasil. So semalam mintak tolong postdoc plot kt origin. Senang bangat!! Dalam masa aku mengodek2 origin tu dah siap tukar ke matrix form dah tinggal tak plot je, boleh tak.. hehehhee.. sangat funny macam nak ketuk kepala sendiri. Anyways, dapat jugak plot data2 (btw nie data hysys) hysys pun aku buat jgk, dia kluar graph jgk tapi rangka2 aku nak surface (macam byk akal pulak - no la, sv yang nak surfac, so kena bagi surface la). ni pun tak habis buat lg.. wah byk betul kerja nak kena siapkan this weekend. yup this weekend, sbb next week nak kena start program baru given by another sv. yang ni, document dia release 4 march baru nie (hot from the oven) jumaat minggu lepas sanggup turun install kt pc aku. so i have to do something about it. dia jugak cakap this will be your chapter 3 or 4 in your thesis... (takuttt..)

Erm, rasa macam panjang pulak karangan aku ye hari nie. Rajin sangat pun tak, tp si kecik tu tidur dr aku balik tadi, nampak gaya mmg tidur sampai pagi la ni. So, ada la masa sikit. Well, karangan panjang2 pun memboringkan jgk. Better go now..

best wishes,

Alhamdulillah

Alhamdulillah.. Alhamdulillah.. Alhamdulillah..

I got a reply from the author of the paper that I really wanted yesterday.. Syukran ya Allah..

Berkesan jugak method i.e. kalau dah cari2, try Tanya orang dr uni lain tapi tak dapat jugak, try Tanya penulis article tu sendiri.. ;p and seriously mmg macam projek ku shj.. apa yg novel nya ye??

Housekeeping..

Yup, again.. This time its my endnotes. I opened a new file and had references AND the files attached to it.. Selesai sudah except for 5-6 references that I found but had no access to. The titles are very interesting so I had asked help from the yahoo group. Mintak2 lah ada. Especially the one by Sudiro. Macam cover the whole project pulak. Ya Allah, permudahkanlah urusan ku..

Sunday o SUNday..

Tonight we had some friends over for dinner. Though I had a bit of a headache earlier due to what I suspect as a reaction to bright sunlight (could it be possible??). Anyways, after downing a couple of Panadol extra, I was up and away cooking. Not that I cooked anything hard. I had marinated 2 medium size chicken with 'setonah' herbs.. hahhahaha.. it would never fail to give me a good laugh of having mention the word 'setonah'.. Its from my mom, whenever she would cook something in 'bantai-bantai' style, if anyone (me usually) would ask what is she cooking, she would say 'setonah'.. hehehehhe.. so it kind of refer to resipe apa-apa je la..

Anyways, I marinated the 2 whole chicken as cik abang wanted ayam golek. But then later in the evening (and since it was a bit late), I thought that it would be better and I would feel a lot more confident making ayam percik than the roast alone version.. So, despite having being marinated, the chicken were 'percik'ed instead. So that's that. I had also prepared pajeri nenas, that's to cik abang who had kupas the pineapple, and kari daging for kuah. But in the end, I realized everything we had is santan based, but whatever la.. Oh I forgot to mention the nasi tomato. Easy peasy lemon squeezy. We are so overdoing the fat thing! I used up all the vegetable-based ghee. But fat is fat wherever the base is from right? And, I never thought that making all the nasi tomato, minyak, or biryani is so easy. Senang sangat-sangat-sangat.

Enough about food. It's my tenth month and I need to submit my 1st year transfer report end of this month. I am terrified. Bila teringatkan ini, mesti terus mati kutu, dah tak da idea nak tulis apa, so I better sign off, basuh pinggan dari mula cerita-cerita yang mengundang stress ini..

Since I started school again (almost 1 year now) I have come across lots and lots of things that I have managed to avoid. But, not anymore. So many fundamental things lacking that I vow to learn as much as I can and hope to take it back with me. Fundamentals such as the 'mol' and 'mole' concept. Hahaha.. I always blamed it on the C5 I got for my SPM Chemistry, I felt like such a failure then, it has taken a toll since. My matrix Chemistry was better I guess, else why JKKP accepted me, right? Well, since chemistry = labs, I was never any good in labs as well, which kinds of explain why I am what I am today.

Anyways, the point being is that I have 'successfully' escaped things that I know and knew I should have not. And it is why I have searched high and low a couple of days doing nothing but to search for the 'simple' answers of 'mol' and 'mole', its similarity and differences. Now I think I can answer confidently. Its funny how it has come to that since I never really liked using those units, I was caught off guard in the weekly meeting (sort off). Having an engineering background (as to other engineers I suppose) it would always be weight basis as oppose to mol basis (weight in kg you can relate to), so when presenting my models is weight basis (of course), I did not (slipped my mind) present the units, which I have now come to term to its importance. So, I did defend the models but it made me realize how important it is and there is no escaping! Thank God I could rationalize, but what if..

Anyways, enough of the academia things, but if anyone interested I could share.. Not!! (as in it will be boring)

Seksa..

Batuk oh batuk.. When are you going to go away??

Please go, I feel like I can't take it any longer..

I can't remember the last time that I had it this bad..

Seksa betul, rasa macam badan melompat2 kiri, kanan, depan belakang masa batuk tu..

Ubat batuk dah nak habis dah.. huhuu.. Ada petua untuk hilangkan batuk tak?? Desperately need them..

I felt betrayed..

Someone with a trusted secret apparently decided that it was not a secret. Ok, it's not really a secret secret, it's secret thoughts and opinion. Haa.. no wonder I have been warned numerous times not to get or be close to that person. Something similar has happened before, but I guess I did not learn from it. Well, I have leaned now. So no more, nice nice buddy buddy with you. You can rot for all I care.

Gloomy week for me

I coming down with a flu.. Not a good feeling for this week.. I have a seminar next week on Tuesday, the day after my parents are going back to Malaysia.. I miss them already..

The weekly meeting ended around 5 pm, at which as soon I arrived back to my desk, received a message from my dear hubby asking what time he would be picking me up. I dialled his number quickly to come NOW.. ;p Penat, lesu, kepala pun dah berdenyut2 time tu. It was my longest presentation to date. Dekat sejam jugak la, slide ada 25.. Kesimpulan yang boleh aku buat, its all about the units bebeh..

I have been slaving over work (office hour jer) and harap2 berbaloi la. Stress2 pun takda la terbawak ke rumah, as in bukak pintu je mmg tak bukak dah la beg merah ku itu.. Walaupun tanpa bosan aku akan bawak balik jugak something.. Buat semangat.. Kira ok la tu..

Anyways, I have finally booked the 'dream' holiday.. ya, percutian mimpi.. hehhehehehe.. takda mahal2, murah2 je.. nanti bekal kena bawak siap2 la.. nak save punya pasal. Lagi satu my friend kata tahap keraguan aku ni tinggi. Sebabnya, setakat nie, tak pernah lagi aku makan benda yang takda bungkusan dan berlabel halal ataupun vegetarian. Even roti sekalipun. Wpun kalau nak ikutkan, tak pernah jumpa lagi roti yang takda sign vegetarian tu.. Ye la, kalau tempat yang sangat susah nak cari yang halal, kita cari la the next best thing kan.. Cuba yang terbaik la, untuk diri dan family (not that I am saying anything poyo tau..) ;p

Sambung balik tadi, bila sampai rumah kepala dah mula rasa migrain yg semakin menjalar. But alhamdulillah tak severe n tak berlanjutan.. I heard that your migrain will be milder as you get older. I guess that its true for my. My migrain peaked around SPM time (form 5). Pernah sekali punya la teruk rasa nak golek2 atas katil. Nasib baik I had my best friend tolong picit n bagi makan panadol, then help me with my obulation for maghrib prayer.. tetiba terharu n rasa rindu sangat kt dia.. overtime (almost 12 years now) we grew apart I guess.. sedih2.. n lama sungguh masa berlalu.. and the reality hit back is that I am getting old.. huhuuu..

Anyways, melalut lagi.. my parents are here and will go back in a couple of weeks time. But I missed them already (and they are sleeping in the next room). I better sign off if I want to wake early enough to go to school early enough so that I can get a lot of work done before the weekend. Wah.. cepatnya dah hujung minggu.. We are planning (read - me) to go to York. Its close by, ada castle yang best, we we could stop over at the outlet.. hehehehe.. And sunday there's a friendly volleyball game in Bradford.. ;p We are going there too (make a stop to Dadibhais, hehehhehhehehe)

Leganya duit kpt dah masuk..

Selama kt sini nak hbs 8 bulan dah, ktorg mmg bertahan dgn duit kpt dan elaun ump je, yg averagenya £1100 sebulan. Ok la, siap rasa makan lg mewah dr msia.. Cuma seafood2 takda la, and takda la selalu makan kt luar.

Masak2 kt rumah ok jgk, segala biryani pilao, lamb, ayam punya resipi aku try.. selera je.. hehehhe.. nak2 lagi ada resipe Jamie oliver dan mat gebu.. Alhamdulillah..

Hujung minggu lepas bawa my parents jalan2 ke Liverpool and Manchester..

Aku selalu rasa sedikit stress and konpius bila nak explain kt org yg bertanya, apa tajuk phd, apa yg aku buat, apa yg aku dah buat, apa yg dah siap etc etc la. Aku jugak bertanya kt org yg tgh buat dulu masa aku belum sambung belajar lg. Ala2 soalan naive wal innocent. Aku takda la nak marah kea pa, Cuma, entah la aku pelu berfikir sejenak sebab aku jadi pening.. hehehe

So here goes.. hajat di hati dan jugak hajat supervisor2 ku ialah untuk develop model for alternative fuel process. Sangat lah broad topicnya dan semakin hr, semakin mengecil tajuknya. Satu process yg aku concentrate skrg ialah fischer-tropsch, tp tak sampai situ lg sebab aku kena buat the whole process that is, kena generate feed stocks untuk process ni. So aku telah ambil 1 langkah kebelakang i.e. utk model gasification. Oh ya, sumber alternative fuel nya ialah arang. So sepengetahuan aku takda arang or tak byk sumber arang kt Malaysia. Tapi memandangkan research tentang coal ni sangat establish aku kena la merangkak sorang2. Tak berani la nak gempak sorang2, at least sv2 ku tahu pasal arang nie, tak le mengagau nanti. Coal gasification , terkujat jgk aku yg tak tau apa2 pasal nie, nasib baik byk jgk materialnya yg boleh aku rujuk.. especially yg zaman tok kaduk, kena la paham basics and fundamentalnya dulu.. now, part nie ada la sedikit progress. Aku harap aku boleh cepat2 siapkan and tunjuk kt sv supaya boleh gerak 2 langkah ke depan, dan mula menulis something2 utk 1st year transfer report.

Menurut rakan2 mat salleh sini, 1st year diorg sangat relax, bukan la kacang2 mcmana, tp pemeriksa tu nak tau la you know what you are doing etc etc.. result pun skit2 and ada sorg nie kt dia tak tau samada dia akan guna pun result tu (dia dah nak writing dah). Walaubagaimana pun, semua rakan2 malaysian sangat serious dgn transfer nie so aku pun kena jgk la, am not going to take it for granted wpun penat la sv2 ku kata, ‘its peanuts man!’ hehehhe takda la diorg sebut peanuts, Nampak sangat tipu.. tp diorg pun kata senang, siap ada sorang bgtau, seumur usia kerjaya dia (panjang ooo), dia tak pernah ada sorang pun student fail 1st year (yg final ada ke?? Huhu)

Anyways, lepas2 nie org Tanya, apa jawapan mudahnya ye??

happy 30th anniversary to mak & ayah..

it also means i will be 29 this year.. major meltdown!!! hahahhaahaa.. tu la sangat susah utk terima kenyataan that i am in my late 20's... anak br sorang.. macam mana nak sampai 6 org?? (and the question is boleh ke??).. insyaAllah blk phd umur 31.. i would have to be pregnant every year till i am 35 (umur yg plg lewat, after which docs kt tak safe) unless boleh dapat kembar2 (1 + 2 kembar boleh slang sethn..) masalahnya dua2 belah tak da keturunan kembar that i know of.. erm.. stick to plan A la..

My point of the matter is, nak wish my parents a happy anniversary.. semoga berkekalan sehingga ke akhir ayat (anak dan cucu dah ada, cuma nak kn tambah cucu je lg..) hehehehee.. hope that me and my dear hubby berkekalan jugak..

Alhamdulillah, both of my parents telah selamat tiba.. Alhamdulillah, syukur...

Dah beberapa kali survey emirates, nampaknya dia yg paling murah, bila ambil kira kos perjalanan dan penat2.. Will finalize it by end of this week. Tp fikir jgk how to raise that money. InsyaAllah kalau ada rezeki boleh byr sekali gus, kalau tak kredit je la. Not that I like to.. hehehehe.. Walaupun parents sudah ada kt sini, but I still want to go back, sbb pikir diorg datang kejep sangat.. huhu.. Walaumacamanapun, i am still grateful that they are willing to come here...

"Atuk!!" is what Afnan would squels whenever she sees my dad... Tak fasih nak sepbut 'opah' lagi, but i am sure she will. Funny, yesterday she tried on telekung her pak ngah sent, and she immediately 'sujud'.. hhehehehhe.. cepat betul anakku..

Salam..

Sebenarnya takda idea nak tulis apa, but apa2 je la kan.. Earlier this week my hubby and I pening sebab I would be having my weekly meeting on thursday afternoon, the same time dia ada exam. oohhh... anyways, things worked out for the best, i went to see my sv just now and another one on friday.. wah2 apa la nak present nanti.. ada je benda tp sempat ke.. another thing, there will be a conference in september, sv bg greenlight utk attend as pemerhati bertauliah.. insyaAllah akan ku cuba manfaatkannya. dia tanya nak submit something ke? erkkk oh tidakkk.. takpe la dulu..

anyways, setiap kali lepas meeting mesti rasa fatigue gilos.. kalau nak ikutkan bukannya apa sangat tp still..its taken its toll on my soul.. fuyoo.. ikutkan sbb dtg lewat td, i would have liked to go back later, but by 4.30 pm, lapar la, macam2.. sungguh tidak kuat jiwa ku ini..

tak sabarnya nak balik msia.. airasia jual la tiket murah2 skit.. duit kami dah kering, kredit kad pun dah tak valid... hehehhehhe..

oh ye.. moi parents coming.. alhamdulillah.. rindunya dah nak msk 8 bulan tak jumpa...