The weekly meeting ended around 5 pm, at which as soon I arrived back to my desk, received a message from my dear hubby asking what time he would be picking me up. I dialled his number quickly to come NOW.. ;p Penat, lesu, kepala pun dah berdenyut2 time tu. It was my longest presentation to date. Dekat sejam jugak la, slide ada 25.. Kesimpulan yang boleh aku buat, its all about the units bebeh..

I have been slaving over work (office hour jer) and harap2 berbaloi la. Stress2 pun takda la terbawak ke rumah, as in bukak pintu je mmg tak bukak dah la beg merah ku itu.. Walaupun tanpa bosan aku akan bawak balik jugak something.. Buat semangat.. Kira ok la tu..

Anyways, I have finally booked the 'dream' holiday.. ya, percutian mimpi.. hehhehehehe.. takda mahal2, murah2 je.. nanti bekal kena bawak siap2 la.. nak save punya pasal. Lagi satu my friend kata tahap keraguan aku ni tinggi. Sebabnya, setakat nie, tak pernah lagi aku makan benda yang takda bungkusan dan berlabel halal ataupun vegetarian. Even roti sekalipun. Wpun kalau nak ikutkan, tak pernah jumpa lagi roti yang takda sign vegetarian tu.. Ye la, kalau tempat yang sangat susah nak cari yang halal, kita cari la the next best thing kan.. Cuba yang terbaik la, untuk diri dan family (not that I am saying anything poyo tau..) ;p

Sambung balik tadi, bila sampai rumah kepala dah mula rasa migrain yg semakin menjalar. But alhamdulillah tak severe n tak berlanjutan.. I heard that your migrain will be milder as you get older. I guess that its true for my. My migrain peaked around SPM time (form 5). Pernah sekali punya la teruk rasa nak golek2 atas katil. Nasib baik I had my best friend tolong picit n bagi makan panadol, then help me with my obulation for maghrib prayer.. tetiba terharu n rasa rindu sangat kt dia.. overtime (almost 12 years now) we grew apart I guess.. sedih2.. n lama sungguh masa berlalu.. and the reality hit back is that I am getting old.. huhuuu..

Anyways, melalut lagi.. my parents are here and will go back in a couple of weeks time. But I missed them already (and they are sleeping in the next room). I better sign off if I want to wake early enough to go to school early enough so that I can get a lot of work done before the weekend. Wah.. cepatnya dah hujung minggu.. We are planning (read - me) to go to York. Its close by, ada castle yang best, we we could stop over at the outlet.. hehehehe.. And sunday there's a friendly volleyball game in Bradford.. ;p We are going there too (make a stop to Dadibhais, hehehhehhehehe)

Leganya duit kpt dah masuk..

Selama kt sini nak hbs 8 bulan dah, ktorg mmg bertahan dgn duit kpt dan elaun ump je, yg averagenya £1100 sebulan. Ok la, siap rasa makan lg mewah dr msia.. Cuma seafood2 takda la, and takda la selalu makan kt luar.

Masak2 kt rumah ok jgk, segala biryani pilao, lamb, ayam punya resipi aku try.. selera je.. hehehhe.. nak2 lagi ada resipe Jamie oliver dan mat gebu.. Alhamdulillah..

Hujung minggu lepas bawa my parents jalan2 ke Liverpool and Manchester..

Aku selalu rasa sedikit stress and konpius bila nak explain kt org yg bertanya, apa tajuk phd, apa yg aku buat, apa yg aku dah buat, apa yg dah siap etc etc la. Aku jugak bertanya kt org yg tgh buat dulu masa aku belum sambung belajar lg. Ala2 soalan naive wal innocent. Aku takda la nak marah kea pa, Cuma, entah la aku pelu berfikir sejenak sebab aku jadi pening.. hehehe

So here goes.. hajat di hati dan jugak hajat supervisor2 ku ialah untuk develop model for alternative fuel process. Sangat lah broad topicnya dan semakin hr, semakin mengecil tajuknya. Satu process yg aku concentrate skrg ialah fischer-tropsch, tp tak sampai situ lg sebab aku kena buat the whole process that is, kena generate feed stocks untuk process ni. So aku telah ambil 1 langkah kebelakang i.e. utk model gasification. Oh ya, sumber alternative fuel nya ialah arang. So sepengetahuan aku takda arang or tak byk sumber arang kt Malaysia. Tapi memandangkan research tentang coal ni sangat establish aku kena la merangkak sorang2. Tak berani la nak gempak sorang2, at least sv2 ku tahu pasal arang nie, tak le mengagau nanti. Coal gasification , terkujat jgk aku yg tak tau apa2 pasal nie, nasib baik byk jgk materialnya yg boleh aku rujuk.. especially yg zaman tok kaduk, kena la paham basics and fundamentalnya dulu.. now, part nie ada la sedikit progress. Aku harap aku boleh cepat2 siapkan and tunjuk kt sv supaya boleh gerak 2 langkah ke depan, dan mula menulis something2 utk 1st year transfer report.

Menurut rakan2 mat salleh sini, 1st year diorg sangat relax, bukan la kacang2 mcmana, tp pemeriksa tu nak tau la you know what you are doing etc etc.. result pun skit2 and ada sorg nie kt dia tak tau samada dia akan guna pun result tu (dia dah nak writing dah). Walaubagaimana pun, semua rakan2 malaysian sangat serious dgn transfer nie so aku pun kena jgk la, am not going to take it for granted wpun penat la sv2 ku kata, ‘its peanuts man!’ hehehhe takda la diorg sebut peanuts, Nampak sangat tipu.. tp diorg pun kata senang, siap ada sorang bgtau, seumur usia kerjaya dia (panjang ooo), dia tak pernah ada sorang pun student fail 1st year (yg final ada ke?? Huhu)

Anyways, lepas2 nie org Tanya, apa jawapan mudahnya ye??

happy 30th anniversary to mak & ayah..

it also means i will be 29 this year.. major meltdown!!! hahahhaahaa.. tu la sangat susah utk terima kenyataan that i am in my late 20's... anak br sorang.. macam mana nak sampai 6 org?? (and the question is boleh ke??).. insyaAllah blk phd umur 31.. i would have to be pregnant every year till i am 35 (umur yg plg lewat, after which docs kt tak safe) unless boleh dapat kembar2 (1 + 2 kembar boleh slang sethn..) masalahnya dua2 belah tak da keturunan kembar that i know of.. erm.. stick to plan A la..

My point of the matter is, nak wish my parents a happy anniversary.. semoga berkekalan sehingga ke akhir ayat (anak dan cucu dah ada, cuma nak kn tambah cucu je lg..) hehehehee.. hope that me and my dear hubby berkekalan jugak..

Alhamdulillah, both of my parents telah selamat tiba.. Alhamdulillah, syukur...

Dah beberapa kali survey emirates, nampaknya dia yg paling murah, bila ambil kira kos perjalanan dan penat2.. Will finalize it by end of this week. Tp fikir jgk how to raise that money. InsyaAllah kalau ada rezeki boleh byr sekali gus, kalau tak kredit je la. Not that I like to.. hehehehe.. Walaupun parents sudah ada kt sini, but I still want to go back, sbb pikir diorg datang kejep sangat.. huhu.. Walaumacamanapun, i am still grateful that they are willing to come here...

"Atuk!!" is what Afnan would squels whenever she sees my dad... Tak fasih nak sepbut 'opah' lagi, but i am sure she will. Funny, yesterday she tried on telekung her pak ngah sent, and she immediately 'sujud'.. hhehehehhe.. cepat betul anakku..

Salam..

Sebenarnya takda idea nak tulis apa, but apa2 je la kan.. Earlier this week my hubby and I pening sebab I would be having my weekly meeting on thursday afternoon, the same time dia ada exam. oohhh... anyways, things worked out for the best, i went to see my sv just now and another one on friday.. wah2 apa la nak present nanti.. ada je benda tp sempat ke.. another thing, there will be a conference in september, sv bg greenlight utk attend as pemerhati bertauliah.. insyaAllah akan ku cuba manfaatkannya. dia tanya nak submit something ke? erkkk oh tidakkk.. takpe la dulu..

anyways, setiap kali lepas meeting mesti rasa fatigue gilos.. kalau nak ikutkan bukannya apa sangat tp still..its taken its toll on my soul.. fuyoo.. ikutkan sbb dtg lewat td, i would have liked to go back later, but by 4.30 pm, lapar la, macam2.. sungguh tidak kuat jiwa ku ini..

tak sabarnya nak balik msia.. airasia jual la tiket murah2 skit.. duit kami dah kering, kredit kad pun dah tak valid... hehehhehhe..

oh ye.. moi parents coming.. alhamdulillah.. rindunya dah nak msk 8 bulan tak jumpa...

with regard to my last entry, erm.. rasa macam tak smart la.. as in not Specific, Measurable, Achievable (not literally ok..), Realis.. stop la.. tak SM jer.. Anyways, my hubby will be having his exams starting minggu depan.. Kuat sungguh studynya! kesian pun ada, harap2 berjaya la, insyaAllah..

anyways, cuaca agak sejuk la. tadi ke pasar, masyaAllah, setengah jam je, tp tangan kami berdenyut2 sebab kesejukan. cik abang sampai bukak kasut dlm kereta in hope to panaskan ibu jari.. nasib baik afnan steady jer.. hairan pulak time2 winter nie, buah2an kt pasar tu murah2 je. e.g 10 biji apple/oranges for £1. strawberries 4 punnets for £1, pear la.. byk lagi. dan 2 minggu lepas dpt 1 tray apple (dekat 30 biji) for £1.. tp bila difikirkan balik byk2 sangat pun buat apa kan, membazir kalau tak boleh habis dlm 1 minggu.

i have also been surveying for places to go this summer. teringin nak ke amsterdam naik mini cruise tu tp quite costly la kalau nak g weekends, plus there's additional charges with the ferry if you want to stay an extra night (wpun bukan tido dlm ferry tu pun) nak kena book hotel lagi bla.. bla.. tengok la nanti how it goes. cik abang nak pusing2 uk je.. sebabnya tak habis pusing lg.. hehehhee.. itu la, kehendak hati banyak sangat tp onkos limited... nak balik msia lagi raya nie.. oh airasia sila la buat sale cepat! silap tak book hr tu, sangat teragak2.. tak pe, insyaAllah kalau ada rezeki dpt murah skit. kalau tak pun still airasia jgk sbbnya dah compare with a few other airlines and airasia plg murah. and i highlight this everytime; afnan will be paying full price ticket so.. i sound like a kedekut mom.. ngeh..ngeh.. apa2 je la kan..

well, when it comes to my daughter, i do try to get her whatever her heart desires. that includes a push car. she has one back in malaysia, and she still likes it. once in Asda she stopped at the toys alley and cried 'mama, mama!' when she sees a push car. something that i could never ever forget. the brand new - no brand push car was steep (in my opinion) so i did not buy, which breaks my heart everytime i thought of her.. nak buat macamana.. so the only time that she would have any access to a push car is when we go over to k fatma's house and she plays with k fatma's kids (who happen to have a push car). anyways, just recently we bought a push car, finally (yeay!) and guess what? she would say 'hilman' everytime she's around her pushcar!!! hilman as in k fatma's son!!! i am sooooo sedihh... haruuuu sangat2.. nasib baik beli jugak pushcar tu...

lesson learnt? i felt like a lousy mom.. i always do.. what could i do? and i always, always feel guilty? kenapa??

welcome 2010

erm.. berjaya jugak menternak sawang yer.. yup its been a while..anyways, its 01-01-10.. I am going to be 29 this year and my precious lil' baby will be 2 in Feb. My dear hubby will also be 29.. alot of biggies are projected to happen this year.. my parents are coming, my 1st year transfer and insyaAllah we are planning to balik msia for raya, kalau ada rezeki..

on the other hand, 2010.. new year.. i was thinking while many wishes pouring in fb for a happy new year.. i dont really feel anything, partly because i was thinking hard about my resolution, what do i want to achieve this year. one thing for sure is my transfer of course. anyways, after much thought and consideration (knowing how 'good' i am at keeping up with resolutions) i would only have 1 resolution this year, which is, to be closer to Him.

that's it, but i am dead serious and i am thinking how can i achieve that and what would be the benchmark etc.. and with this 1 resolution i am certain i could achieve all other goals and targets.. thinking.. outlining.. signing off as i need some pen and papers..